It's so cold.
Everyone looks confident.
I wonder how I look.
I know how I feel.
I feel nervous.
Doubtful.
There is electricity in the air.
You can almost reach out and touch it.
So many smiling faces.
Suddenly we are running.
I am running.
Running, breathing, running, breathing.
I wonder where the road will take us.
I wonder if I can finish.
Will I finish?
My body feels like a machine.
It's as if someone programmed me, put in a battery pack and set me off.
My legs are moving.
My arms are pumping.
And still, I'm breathing.
Miles pass....people cheer and encourage.
I greedily take it.
Hills.
Not prepared for hills.
Runners walk.
No.
I will not walk.
I lean into those hills as if they are me and I am them.
Still, my body moves.
I'm a runner.
My legs are strong.
My mind is stronger.
The doubt has left me.
I can do this.
I am doing this.
13.1 miles.
I've left my body.
I float above and watch from the outside.
So beautiful.
The ocean waves come and go.
My body moves.
My breath is steady.
My body is a machine.
Better than a car.
So quiet.
Runs on water.
And air.
And Faith.
Half way there.
No pain.
I can do this.
But I need water.
My body is asking, pleading, for water.
I run.
I run.
Where is the water? my body asks timidly.
There.
I reach for it.
My body thanks me.
I thank my body.
Running.
Slower then faster.
Even faster.
All I want is to be done.
My head fills with the comforting sound of music:
I’m a lucky man to count on both hands
The ones I love
Some folks just have one,
Others they got none, aw huh
Stay with me
Let’s just breathe.
Oh sweet music.
It takes my mind off what my body is beginning to scream.
Tired!
So tired.
Please let the end be near.
There.
I see it.
Thank you legs.
You knew where to go.
You carried me the entire way.
So far.
So very far.
My husband is hugging me.
I'm hugging him back.
Or maybe he's holding me.
I have nothing left.
My children.
I carried them for so long.
And it was the thought of them that carried me.
My sweet, sweet children.
13.1.
We will meet again.
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